Starting Over

Okay, so as you can see I have been away for a while. My daughter went back to the Hospital (+4 lbs) and from there we had Thanksgiving (+6 lbs) and then on to Christmas (+remaining lbs)! Needless to say, I am back within 1.5 lbs of my original start weight! Uggghhhh!

I am sooo frustrated with myself. So, yesterday and today are loading days. I officially start VLCD tomorrow, January 5, 2009! WooHoo!

I think, I take that back, I KNOW this time is different. I have a HUGE support group and have even created a sub group from that. I have a good friend doing it right along side of me and I have experience from the last time to know what I did right and what I did wrong.

One thing I WILL NOT DO is cheat. There is no place for it in my life and there is no place for this fat in my life! It DOES NOT belong to me!

I hope to have this weight off and maintaining with no problems by the end of this year. I will no longer hide from that camera! I already started taking more pictures so I can get comfortable with those camera lenses again. I also started letting people take them and even asking them to so I can have a good record of just how far I have come with proof from those pictures. Pictures really do speak a thousand words! I know I never thought I was this fat. For some reason you just can't wrap your brain around the fact that you have let yourself go so bad! I mean, yes, I SEE the scale, I SEE that my jeans say 18 on them. And yet, I still think, "I am not THAT big"! How do we do that? That is, until I see a picture of myself or catch my reflection in a mirror as I am walking past. It's almost scary and a few times I have even taken a second look to see who that person is! It's crazy. And even crazier is the fact that I have all the knowledge and power to do something about it, and yet I have done nothing.

Well, here is to a New Year and New Me! I hope you'll join me on this journey to the return of Me! I can't wait to meet myself again!

~Kendra